Gaslighting at Work

What is Gaslighting?

Are you constantly second guessing yourself, is your confidence taking a hit,  Are you  questioning your perception of reality?

You may be a victim of gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological/emotional manipulation and abuse which can take place in  any setting or relationship, whether it be family, work or social.

It is a very insidious (takes place subtly over time) type of abuse that causes the victim  to doubt their own thoughts, memories and perceptions.

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Gaslighting Abuse

  • This type of abuse can take on many aspects and can  play out differently in a work setting compared to a personal relationship, however the basic tactics are the same:

    • Manipulation/Control.
    • Blatant Lying.
    • Denial of their behaviour.
    • Twisting your version of reality – causing you to question and doubt yourself.
    • Publicly criticising your performance and abilities.

This is a consistent behaviour pattern by the abuser over time which can be very confusing for the victim, it is very subtle and hard to identify.

You know there is something fundamentally wrong but you can’t “put your finger on it”.

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Shifting the blame...

The term “gaslighting” is used to describe a set of psychological manipulative behaviours, to get the person being “gaslit “to doubt their own reality.

All forms of gaslighting cause feelings of confusion and powerlessness. Gaslighting is used to “not be held accountable for anything” Abusers will shift the blame to their victims with the intention to manipulate and control.

In the workplace it can be incredibly challenging working with a manager or colleague who regularly uses gaslighting as a tactic. This can also have a very negative effect on your self-esteem and performance.

More About Gaslighting and Examples

Gaslighting is a lot more common than you would like to think in the workplace. It is an incredibly stressful situation to be in and it is important that you understand that it is NOT you that has the issue, it is the abuser that has the problem (and they will never admit that).

Talking to someone close to you that you can trust a friend or family member for example, and discussing it with your ‘GP’ would be a wise decision. There is help out there should you choose to explore this option.

Gaslighting can have a very negative impact on your:

  • Mental, emotional and physical health over time if it is not addressed.
  • Likelihood to experience depression, anxiety, panic attacks and damage to self-esteem.

Examples of gaslighting at work :

  • In meetings your manager/co-worker may twist your words or ideas
  • Taking credit for your work
  • Saying one thing and doing another
  • Refusing to listen to your concerns
  • Saying “You are too sensitive”
  • Lying about what happened.
  • Having your accomplishments minimised or dismissed.

Common gaslighting phrases:

  • You’re reading too much into this, you’re over reacting
  • I was only joking
  • You’re imagining things, that’s not what happened
  • Your memory seems to be slipping.
  • I didn’t say/do that

There needs to be a pattern over a period of time to indicate that you are experiencing gaslighting in the workplace.

There are plenty of resources on line that will explain Gaslighting in greater detail, in its many forms for different types of relationships and environments. For the purposes of Gaslighting in the workplace, I have put links to very useful, clear and informative sites in the UK. For outside the UK please refer to your National or Local sites.

More About Gaslighting and Examples

Gaslighting at work is more common than you think. And it is NOT you who is the problem. It is the abuser - but they will never admit it.

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