Narcissistic Abuse at Work
Do you dread going to work and being on the receiving end of your bosses’ abusive behaviour? Have you had enough of their constant criticism of your work and aggressive outbursts ? Do you feel your back is against the wall and nothing you do is ever good enough for them? This could be narcissistic abuse. Are you the buffer between your team members and your boss, trying to protect your team but taking the brunt of your bosses unreasonable demands and extreme behaviours.
Dealing with Bullies at Work
Dealing with bullies in the workplace can cause untold damage to your self-esteem and really diminish your motivation along with having a negative effect of your mental and physical wellbeing. Bullying and Narcissistic Abuse is a lot more common than you would think in the workplace and always has been. At some point in your career you will have experienced this kind of behaviour and if not (you are very fortunate!) you will know someone that has, either a friend, colleague or family member.
This is not something that is discussed openly – people tend to suffer in silence and really do not know what to do when faced with this situation in their work. My aim is to help as many people as possible through education and shine a light on this hideous abuse in the workplace with the focus on the individual (victim) recovering and moving on.
I cover:
- Narcissism in the workplace
- Gaslighting
- How to recognise Narcissistic Traits in the workplace
- Narcissistic abuse at work
- Toxic Culture
This will help you gain a better understanding of what this topic is all about and the different elements on how it manifests within a workplace and its effects.
Your Priority – Your Wellbeing
Your priority is your wellbeing. When faced with this situation the first thing to do is to educate yourself on the topic which will put you in a better position to deal with it. My advice when dealing with a Narcissistic Boss is to Act and Not react – avoid reacting to them as that gives them power over you. Now, I understand the temptation of reacting however this is exactly what they want you to do so they can then blame you for your reaction and not take any responsibility for their behaviour .
It is critical to not allow the behaviours of others have a negative impact on you, understand that this is not personal (even though it feels like it is) these individuals are toxic. They are driven by power and control and unable to regulate their emotions hence their anger outbursts which are over the top and unacceptable in any setting.
That said they are usually (not always though) in positions of power within a business and feel they can say or do whatever they like without any repercussions . They believe no one has the right to challenge their behaviour and if they do the Narcissist / Bully will be ruthless in their retaliation. This type of behaviour creates fear amongst team members , in most cases people simply “shut up and put up” terrified of speaking up or making a formal grievance and usually just leave the business as the environment is detrimental to their wellbeing.
Through my own experiences and through dealing with clients and from working in the corporate world for over 30 years , the greatest relief for anyone experiencing this is understanding what this behaviour is all about . Educating yourself on the topic is a very smart move as you will come across it many times in your working life . Understanding the behaviours, traits and control tactics puts you in a position of power. So often clients have been so relived by gaining this understanding and realising that it is not them that has the issue it is in fact the Narcissistic boss that is completely disordered in their behaviour to others.
What is a Narcissist?
I will always remember the first time I discovered the answer to the question ‘what is a Narcissist’ many years ago, the utter relief of having this knowledge and realising that I wasn’t going mad, I wasn’t imaging it and the understanding that there was something fundamentally wrong with the persons behaviour. Unless you have been on the receiving end of a Narcissistic boss you cannot even comprehend how toxic and damaging this kind of relationship is – its most definitely is not healthy or normal on any level.
Having a label to identify this with and an understanding of the behavioural patterns, gave me huge relief and insight as it does with all my clients. Education is key !
Recovery Strategy
That is the first step , the next step is taking action and putting yourself in a better position to navigate this kind of relationship and then making choices and implementing a strategy for your recovery.
There has been so much media coverage on this type of the behaviour in the workplace recently through various media channels which is great to see – hopefully more people will educate themselves on the topic and create real change in the business world.
A recent interview with a psychiatrist on BBC explaining Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) – It is a lot more common than you think
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0hx0gl1
Recent media coverage exposing gaslighting by Irish Actress within BBC. I admire anyone that Speaks Up on this kind of behaviour in the workplace and its effects on the individuals.
Hopefully this will create a ripple effect, and more people will find the courage to start speaking up so real change can take place in the workplace.